Read a F/S today and was reminded of why I don't read them anymore. This was an extremely well-written fic, mind you, but the sex drove me batshit. "All I care about is your pleasure, Mr. Frodo." "But Sam, I cannot be pleased without your pleasure." "No, no, my pleasure is in watching your pleasure." "Dear Sam, my greatest pleasure is in your pleasure at watching my pleasure at your pleasure, so do go first." "No, I insist, after you." "No, no, I couldn't possibly. Please, after you."
Me: JESUS MOTHER OF FUCK WILL YOU HAVE SEX ALREADY!