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Death of a Furby
ifeedformula wrote in metaquotes
ladydyani brings on teh funny again.

When my daughter was three, we somehow managed to beat the other people away and get her a Furby for Christmas. (Remember how popular those were? And how hard they were to find?)

She opens it Christmas morning, and is absolutely delighted. After presents are finished, I'm in the kitchen, cleaning up the breakfast dishes. She's taking Furby around and showing him the house. I hear "This is the living room." Step, step, step. "This is the kitchen." Step, step, step. "This is the bathroom." Pause. "Go potty." SPLASH!

She dropped poor Furby in the toilet. I suppose dropped is the wrong word. Shoved would be more appropriate.

After a painstaking drying, he did manage to work again, but for the rest of his life, he would randomly blurt out odd sounds every once in a while.

Poor Furby.

The context has been savaged by a small child

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Well, yes they do, but this one went insane. There is nothing worse than waking up at two in the morning to hear "Waa-ho-nas-hay!" in that freaky voice they have. Especially when we've got it in sleep mode, and it shouldn't wake.

I'm pretty sure it was telling me to go to hell.

I'm pretty sure it was telling me to go to hell.

Now for some reason I have this image of a Furby dressed up as Steven Seagall, saying, "I'm going to send you to hell, where you belong! Chiiiirp wheee!"

I just snorted coffee. I hope you're happy now.

My family never had a furby, but my mom had that problem with a Sing-'n-snore Ernie doll. She'd got it for my dad as a joke, and somehow the voicebox had gotten knocked around enough to make it fairly sensitive to things -- shifts in air pressure, supernatural whims, etc. So she's padding back from the bathroom at night, and suddenly hears this cheerful, disembodied Ernie voice declare "I FEEL GREAT!"

We're surprised the neighbors didn't call the cops.

Cereal. Monitor. I am NOT exaggerating here.

Ok, that is awesome. Your icon is even awesomer.

That's freaky. My neice has this little bear that sings and says random things, and out of nowhere one night he goes "Peek-a-boo, I SEE YOU!". I totally did not jump two feet.


No--BAD cat. I am not dying. There is no need for you to come over and lick my face frantically. I am fine. Really.Stupid cat.

I actually have tears in my eyes. Brilliant.

When I was little, my mom got me a 'Baby Talks A Lot' or something like that. Basicly, you'd 'kiss'(more like smack, a kiss wasnt enough pressure) her forehead, and she'd say a word wrong, you say it right, she said it wrong again, you say it right, and then she'd say it right. Though, it didnt matter what you said, really.

Anyway, she wouldnt stop talking untill she couldnt hear anything, then she'd say 'Goodnight' and turn off. But there could me NO NOISE at all. I remember driving home from somewhere, sitting on a pillow, with her under it, no one talking, and the radio off, and the damn thing was STILL saying 'ater'... 'wader'... 'water!' 'pisgeti'... 'pastetti'... 'spaghetti!' from under my ass!

Dude... it was speaking parseltongue. you've totally got a basalisk in your walls.

Oh. My. God. I have just realized that's what Harry said in the movie. I have no idea where that came from. Apparently my subconscious is telling me I need to read more fanfiction? Yes. *nods* That's what I'll do.

At least it didn't wake you up by saying "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."

My ex bf and I once had temporary possession of a talking Winnie the Pooh that he had bought for his nephew. The thing talked when you hugged it or whatever, but then, for some time afterwards, it got all needy and demanded more attention, sometimes an hour or more later. We'd be sitting in the living room, watching TV, when this voice in the kitchen would suddenly say "A large Pooh bear hug would be nice around now." I was sure if I didn't give it what it wanted it was going to come alive at night and kill me.

I had a sort-of animantronic Snoopy doll -- it was something Macy's released right before the Millennium New Year's Eve, and it had a little clock/calendar in the shape of a noisemaker that, when you reached midnight on New Year's Eve, would beep out "Auld Lang Syne."

One February night in 2000, the thing started beeping out "Auld Lang Syne" at about 3 am, and did so over and over again in a continuous loop. I punched every damn button on that horn and it wouldn't stop. Finally I decided Snoopy really wanted to party and exiled him to the bathroom in case he partied too hard.

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