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Death of a Furby
ifeedformula wrote in metaquotes
ladydyani brings on teh funny again.

When my daughter was three, we somehow managed to beat the other people away and get her a Furby for Christmas. (Remember how popular those were? And how hard they were to find?)

She opens it Christmas morning, and is absolutely delighted. After presents are finished, I'm in the kitchen, cleaning up the breakfast dishes. She's taking Furby around and showing him the house. I hear "This is the living room." Step, step, step. "This is the kitchen." Step, step, step. "This is the bathroom." Pause. "Go potty." SPLASH!

She dropped poor Furby in the toilet. I suppose dropped is the wrong word. Shoved would be more appropriate.

After a painstaking drying, he did manage to work again, but for the rest of his life, he would randomly blurt out odd sounds every once in a while.

Poor Furby.

The context has been savaged by a small child

I've always said that Furbies were evil anyway. Perhaps it deserved to be shoved into the toilet.

They're gremlins in disguise. I don't know why no one else has noticed.

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I thought the random blurting of odd sounds was a usual feature of Furbies?

In high school a girl in my chemistry class was "babysitting" her friend's Furby, and in the middle of our quiz it started making clicks, wails and chirping noises. It sounded like a dying cat.

Well, yes they do, but this one went insane. There is nothing worse than waking up at two in the morning to hear "Waa-ho-nas-hay!" in that freaky voice they have. Especially when we've got it in sleep mode, and it shouldn't wake.

I'm pretty sure it was telling me to go to hell.

I had one of those when I was little. The best part about it was taking it in the car. It would go "whoooa!" or "wheeee!" every two seconds and annoy the shit out of my mom.

That drove my mom crazy. My sister bought one when they first came out and she would make it 'fly' through the air. Furby would go "Whoooaaa! Wheeee!" and it was friggin hilarious.

Almost makes me want to go find one for myself. XD

My nephew got one last year at Christmas. I told my sister that one morning she was going to wake up with Furby on the pillow next her going, "brains, BRAINSSSSSSSS".

Oh, ice makes such a mess when it's spat at a laptop screen...

Heh, my old Teddy Ruxpin had a malfunction and started leaking battery acid and was never the same after that. I kept him in the closet, and every once in a while, I would hear these devil noises, and I knew it was coming from TR.

It was kind of like Chucky. In bear form. And that made it even scarier, 'cause bears can be mean.

/semi-Mitch Hedberg

I still remember actively attempting to kill our Teddy Ruxpin.

Jesus, those things were evil.

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My friend once put my furby on top of my sky digi box and it went fuck NUTS!!!!!

I had one once. It liked to lock up on me.

In college, this crazy condescending religious chick in my husband's dorm had a Furby. We'd steal it and teach it the most disgusting language we could think of.

Um, I have a Furby, and it doesn't actually "learn" anything from human beings. Furbys have a program that gradually filters the Furbish to English, but they don't actually pick up words they haven't been programmed with.

It's a shame because programmable or naughty Furbys would have rocked.

I had one...my mom got it for me as a joke for Christmas when I was 22 or so.
One of my closest friends thought it was the creepiest thing ever. Apparently, Furby thought the same about her. Whenever she would (gingerly) pick him up, he would say "Oh-oh! Monster!"

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OH MY GOD, that's terrifying. Toys just should not be "alive."

Oh man, that made me laugh so hard I'm crying!

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Oh man I totally just nearly choked on yogurt. My sister's talking Barbie horse one pulled a similar stunt- you were supposed to push the button on its forehead, but in the middle of the night my the 5-year-old sister heard from the toy shelf, "I'll take you ANYWHERE!" Poor thing.

Hahaha, the Teddy Ruxpin thread reminded me of the "Night Night Elmo" or whatever it was called that my little brothers used to have... they once threw it against a wall to try to make it stop snoring, and instead I think it said "That was fun!" or something. I hate possessed toys...

The little sister of my best friend growing up had this doll that, when you 'kissed'(or smacked) it's forhead, it'd say stuff like 'That's fun!' 'Let's play beauty parlor!' 'You're my best friend!' or 'Let's play!' in the MOST annoying voice ever!

We'd grab her by the feet or hair, and bash her head on the wall, on the bed, on eachother... and she was always so damn chipper about it!

Do this: Take two unused, factory fresh Furbies. Turn them on and lock them in a closet facing each other with a light (LED flashlight works great) so they don't go to sleep.

They will either 1) Go insane or 2) develop their own language.

I'm sick and demented to want to try that, right? Right?