Malouda: Gosh, it disturbs me to see this, Zidane,
Italia's defense is so tough.
But Matarazzi is such a damn patsy,
And you're just so manly and buff...
There's no player in town as admired as you,
You're everyone's favorite guy,
All the Frenchies are awed and inspired by you,
And it's...well...kind of hard to see why...
No one squalls like Zidane,
Hogs the ball like Zidane,
Leaves the field at the referee's call like Zidane,
For there's no man in town half as touchy,
Collecting the game's first red card,
Matarazzi'll be spitting out teeth all next week
'Cause your head's so incredibly hard...
Zidane: When I was a lad I took three dozen 'roids
Before each game to help me engage.
Now that I'm grown, I take four dozen 'roids,
So I'm prone to sudden fits of raaaaaage...
French Team: No one kicks like Zidane
Is a dick like Zidane
Beats the Italian guys with a stick like Zidane,
Zidane: I'm especially awful at me-di-a-ting!
French Team: My, what a guy, that Zidane!
[For those of you who missed the Italy/France final, shit went down.]