a_hollow_year has begun to read "Because elves have enjoyed little popularity in the past fifty years of fantasy literature, we are treated to a lovingly dry description of them. The first and last elf, clearly expendable, are fair with pointed ears and elegantly slanted eyebrows. Think Mr. Spock with blond hair. Their builds are slim but strong. One carries as bow and arrows, one carries a dagger and a spear. The one with the spear also sports a "helm of extraordinary craftsmanship, wrought with amber and gold." Inobtrusive and sturdy. Excellent.
Between them rides an elven lady who surveys her surroundings with "poise". She's purty. She also carries a pouch in her lap that she looks at a lot, "as if to reassure herself that it was still there." There is also a bright, flashing sign above the pouch, bearing the words "PLOT, PLOT"."
Read the whole thing, I command you. It's hilarious.
