Brain: You don't need that pie. Don't get it.
Me: But I want it. And HP is getting key lime pie.
Brain: HP weighs 95 pounds. You weigh... not 95 pounds.
Me: Are you calling me fat?
Brain: Probably.
Me: You hurt my feelings. Now I need to sublimate my angst with pie.
Brain: Fuck you!
Me: Piiiiiiiiie.
See how I won that? Except not really.
[...]
I also have a new zit. I shall call it "Brain's Revenge."
OMGQWPPIE (locked post)