Dear Margaret Atwood,
I am a technically English feminist wannabe-writer and I've just decided that my life as it stands is Totally Boring and what I REALLY want to do is to move to Canada and do a degree in Women's Studies at the University of Toronto.
But I have like NO MONEY.
And you have like LOTS.
So, I thought, maybe, just perhaps, you could give me some of your money to move to the Land of Canadia and go to university with, and I could be your secretary or research assistant or coffee-maker or wild-gorilla-hunter or rent-boy-purchaser or something. And I could hang around telling you I'm your biggest fan and The Handmaid's Tale OMG CHANGED MY LIFE and your other books are pretty cool too though I'm still bitter about Oryx and Crake because it's got loads of ideas in that I'd already put in my probably unpublishable novel before I read your book and now everyone will think I stole your ideas even though I totally didn't so there.
Think about it.
love from Hannah.
PS. I can make stir-fry and chips. And I know a lot of dead baby jokes.