This is the diary of Laura Palmer. (mordant) wrote in metaquotes,
This is the diary of Laura Palmer.

jayboitn's "State Of The Nation" epiphany

An amazing thing happened to me the other morning while reading the local newspaper. With much concern I read of the quagmire in Iraq, spiraling trade and budget deficits, millions of Americans without health insurance and a public education system which ranks in the lowest tier among industrialized nations. It was then that I heard a voice.

The voice told me that we could solve these problems by passing some very simple constitutional amendments. These amendments would include bans on same-sex marriages, flag burning, the teaching of evolution and a mandate making English the official language.

As the voice faded, I had time to reflect and think. I then realized that these amendments would not educate our children, provide them health care, free them from the enormous debt we are accruing or protect them from terrorists.

Abruptly, the voice spoke again and much louder this time. All reason and independent thought vanished. The voice told me that I was better than everyone else and that regardless of results (or trivialities like facts and truth) I would still have the satisfaction of standing in the public square, proudly pounding my chest as an English-speaking, patriotic, God-fearing heterosexual.

One can only wonder which entity spoke to me that morning . . .

F'locked 'n' QPD, sauce:

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