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Witch
writer_blocked wrote in metaquotes
tyrannyofpoetry gets a haircut . . .

So, went to get my haircut today. And the sweet, quiet Thai lady at CropShop obviously heard my "can you tidy it up a bit and put in some wax so its a bit spiky" as "I WANT GAY HAIR. GAY. SO VERY GAY. I WANT HAIR SO GAY THAT IT HAS A SERIES OF UNSUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER HAIR BEFORE FINALLY GETTING A CIVIL PARTNERSHIP."

So she started cutting. And when I said I'd like a bit more off the sides, my mouth must have moved and pronounced the words "ITS NOT GAY ENOUGH. MAKE IT MORE GAY. WHY IS MY HAIR NOT CURRENTLY HITTING BACK SUGARY COCKTAILS THAT IT CAN'T AFFORD JUST SO ITS DRUNK ENOUGH TO GO HOME WITH THE MINGER IN THE CORNER?? MY HAIR ISN'T CURRENTLY THINKING OF HOW MUCH IT WANTS TO BUGGER OTHER HAIR IN A SEEDY SOHO ALLEY. MAKE IT MORE GAY!"

And obviously, instead of saying "could you use wax instead of hair spray", my demonically possessed vocal cords must have shouted out "GAYER!!!!!!1!!! THIS HAIR IS NOT LIVING UP TO ENOUGH STEREOTYPES. ITS TOO MUCH WILL, NOT ENOUGH JACK. WHY ISN'T MY HAIR SINGING I AM WHAT I AM WHILE WEARING BAD DRAG MAKEUP AND GREASING UP A SLING FOR A NIGHT OF HARDCORE FISTING FUN?? THE HAIR IS SIMPLE NOT GAY ENOUGH. IT STILL LOOKS AT NAKED WOMEN ON THE INTERNET WHILE CRYING ITSELF TO SLEEP. MAKE. IT. MORE. GAY".

And so, I now have quite gay hair. You'd think as a gay man, I'd be fine with this.

You'd think, no?

The sad bit is, and I'm prepared for the accusations of making a dad-joke, but the hair cut? It's growing on me.

QWP of course :)


Wow, talk about NSFW. Not for fear of someone seeing what I'm reading about, but because I just worksnerked so loud that the boss wants to know what the hell's so funny.

Gay hair for the win.

Unfair stereotype (that I have seen played out) would be that lesbian hair equals mullet. Making out with girls is totally cool, but mullets are just something that decent people don't do (post 1994).

*trying not to giggle while she's supposed to be working. 's not going very well*

That...is very, very gay hair. Yikes. :)

Am I the only one who really wants to see pictures of this fantastically gay hair?

No, that is in fact what I was going to post. I don't think I can clearly imagine what gay hair looks like *g*

AAAHHAHAHAHAHA!

That is the BEST.

+99 (like 69 but gayer)

*dies laughing*

I think I love you.

Sweet Jesus, that is one of the funniest things I have read on here!

THE HAIR IS SIMPLE NOT GAY ENOUGH. IT STILL LOOKS AT NAKED WOMEN ON THE INTERNET WHILE CRYING ITSELF TO SLEEP. MAKE. IT. MORE. GAY".

That. Was. Awesome.

(Deleted comment)
The thing is, at first, I couldn't tell if it was Will and Jack from Will and Grace or Pirates of the Caribbean. ^^;

Been there, had the gelly-spiky-muffdiving hair to prove it.

So we're clear, there's nothing at all wrong with muffdiving.

ROFL!!!!! You hoping it'll turn Abel on more? I kno thats the real reason u want it gayer....u want abel to screw u up the ass don't u? DONT U!!!!! BUTTSECKS LOL

Come over to my house and help me with spanish bitch....

Oh yeah, and in summer ull b happy cuz u get more massages...which my dad called "Very gay" (no my dad is not a homophobe).

Sean......... *giggles* this isnt my LJ. This is metaquotes, dear ^_^

Hahahahaahh.
What insistant vocal chords he has!

Elton John called... he wants his hair back.