Specifically, the Sneaky Kiss Ass (known as SKA) that works here.
Why does she bother me so much? Because she is constantly watching the rest of the employees to she can tattle to our boss (her Uncle). So, making us all look bad in an effort for her to look good. What bothers me the most is that sometimes it works. But not today.
What I said to her today as she was loitering around my desk:
SKA-"You seem quiet this morning."
Me-"I'm not quiet. I just don't feel like talking to you."
SKA-*stunned silence* (Then mistakenly decides that I'm kidding.)
*stupid laugh* SKA- "I'm worried. There's really nothing to do today."
Me - "Then quite wasting my time and B's money and go home."
SKA- "Well, you don't have to be mean about it."
Me - "I'm not being mean. I'm being brutally truthful. Now go be useless somewhere else."
She toddles off in tears and tells B a version of what happened.
B - "SKA tells me you were rude to her."
Me - *shrug* "She tell you why?"
B - "No. How about you tell me."
I relate the above exchange.
B - "Pretty harsh."
Me - "Yep. But honest. And true."
B - "I'll give you that."
B - "Did you have to make her cry?"
ME - "Nope. But it was a nice perk."
B - "Nice." Walks away.
QWP, but it's a locked post. No need for context, though, as I've pretty much quoted the entire thing.