Wouldn't Maury Povich be more likely? He's always having those "who is the father of your baby?" shows.
"Maury, I am not the father! I, Sauron, am too busy trying to get the One Ring to bother with some silly git like this one!"
"Are you willing to take a DNA test to prove that?"
"Ummm, hello, I'm a giant floating eyeball of mystic energy, old boy. I'm rather lacking in the flesh to have DNA."
Context is for the weak.