Actual textual catfight, replete with Capslock of Jealousy intact:
angualupin: Um, Hank? Could I have your blue furry babies, please?
Me: BACK OFF, WOMAN. I TOLD YOU NO THE FIRST TIME! I'M FIRST IN LINE!
angualupin: NICE TRY! I will kick your ass to the curb like Jeannie's going to with Emma once she gets back from whatever resurrection deal she's doing right now!! I will come down on you like the Shi'ar on Rachel!! I will make Cable going after Stryfe seem like a happy day with X-Force! HANK IS MINE.
Me: LISTEN, HO. Your punk ass claim is no match for my biopropelled Fists of Fury. Touch him once and I will open up a vacuum-sealed 6-methylglucoseospramine-3 canister of whup ass on you like Pockylips going postal on the X-Crew. Ya dig? Touch him and YOU DIE FASTER THAN TERTIARY CHARACTERS UNDER CHUCK AUSTEN, HARLOT!
Further crack in the comments here.