Perhaps you could slip a little note on the back page stating that since you're a student, and therefore a non-stop party animal, you finished correcting his dissertation while stinking drunk. Hey, his fault for asking a student he knew would be up until three in the motherfucking morning with a bottle of tequila and some crayons. Then break out the Crayolas and draw all over the goddamn thing. Stick figure diagrams of you planting this cockslap's head firmly up his ass come to mind. Replace any mention of his name with "COCKFACE." Just write a big red "NO" over an entire paragraph without any other explanation*. Order pizza and be sure to wipe your mouth on any odd numbered pages. Practice your fingerpainting. Make your corrections in Latin. Make your corrections in pig-Latin. Make your corrections in pig-Latin Latin. And be sure to blame the whole thing on the fact that he was right, you're a constant drunk and it's all his fault for having hired you to do the corrections for him.
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And remember: NEVER piss damn_tatterhood off!