Jaie (jaie) wrote in metaquotes,

strix_an_stones loves her son. Or so she keeps telling herself.

I have to keep repeating this to myself over and over. Those of you who have heard of my darling bundle of teenaged joy in the past will probably properly appreciate this - at least a lot more than I did. In keeping with his usual creative ways of getting into trouble, he found a most special means of disrupting creative writing class. Also, as usual, the teacher is the same pretty young blonde that these boys seem destined to mortify in a convoluted effort to gain her attention.

Yesterday's assignment gone wrong? Create a planet, name it, populate it, draw for the class a picture showing your planet in regards to the known solar system.

Sounds deceptively innocent doesn't it? My child gets down to working, 'feverishly' was the word the teacher used to describe his devotion to his project. Since the snarky male child never does anything work related with such fervor, she was understandably intrigued and went to observe. At first blush, nothing was the matter. He created a world named Peck named after its founder Morton Peckaninny the great dirt-bike racer of the 22nd Century. Not bad right? She gives his weird teen-boy-wet-dream realm the okay and wanders off to look over the shoulders of the other miscreants. He was in the throes of creative glee drawing his planet and its respective location when another boy looked over his shoulder, laughed, and asked aloud, "Peck? does that mean all the people that live there are Peckers?" Oh yeah, wooshed right past me too.

Normally the administration calls me in and the teacher unveils the problem to a lot of nonplussed staggered looks. Today was no different. Now, allow me to unveil the drawing. Since I was prohibited from bringing it home (the principal was flummoxed) because they cannot seem to find a punishment because they can't, as yet, prove a crime, I shall describe this candid illustration.

At the top of the page are two round spherical objects. I made the mistake of calling them balls. My son corrected me, they were planets, specifically the Earth and the Sun. Never mind the fact that they were the exact same size *gives grinning kid the hinky eyed look* that is his story and he is sticking to it. At the bottom of the page, in a position to be centered between the "Sun" and the "Earth" is the planet "Peck." Looked rather like a non-connected triangle pointing towards the floor...then my eye cannily caught sight of lines descending from "Earth" to "Peck" and ascending from "Peck" to the "Sun" creating a most crudely rendered (and overly optimistically sized) male member. The principal stuttering in his attempts to inquire as to what these structures were, was informed that "Those are tunnels so you can ride dirt bikes from earth to Peck and back again." Mom is not an idiot, mom points to the tube anchored to the Sun and demands to know "what the hell is this then? You can't visit the Sun!" Ah, not according to my devious bratling! The end of this tunnel floats in space at a distance too small to see (and therefore not on the drawing) from the Sun's surface so that everyone can drive their trash there and watch it get all burned up.

*head to desk*


I wish the mother's curse on him threefold I swear. If this boy would put one tenth of the energy into doing his work properly that he does in screwing off, he'd be a straight A student in the advanced academic program.

Quoted with permission this is the whole post. F'locked. But it is here.
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