LEE: why, hello Fourth Module Annual Spike in Depression! i haven't seen you in a year! you're just on time, as usual. how have you been?
4MASD: i'm doing great, lee. i'm here to do what i normally do: sap your academic, social, religious, and sexual confidence when you need them most.
4MASD: yeah! notice how you've stopped going to the gym and davvyning regularly?
LEE: i've been wondering about that...i know it would make me feel better to...
4MASD: well too bad! that's all me! also, that weight you've gained?
4MASD: well, that's not all me; some of it can be blamed on passover over here
4MASD: but it's only going to get harder to get out of bed and to the coop to eat well and davvyn every morning! you'll know that you're wasting your time, but you won't be able to stop yourself! you'll distance yourself from your friends and especially your coop!
LEE: but i'm leaving oberlin forever in 41 days! i can't alienate myself now!
4MASD: too bad, lee, i'm here now, and i'd like to stay over.
LEE: well, since you're a guest, i relly can't deny you. ::shakes fist:: damn hospitality!!
4MASD: oh, as a side note, you're going to say stuff that is a normal level of awkward and stupid, but now you're going to beat yourself up about it for hours afterward. funtimes.
LEE: ::quiet swearing::