1. Thou shalt write no more than 250 words.
2. Thou shalt obey all deadlines.
3. Thou shalt not Bible-bash, gay-bash, religion-bash or people-bash.
4. Thou shalt write in correct sentence and paragraph form.
5. Thou shalt include verbs in all sentences.
6. Thou shalt use spell check.
7. Thou shalt spell Satan, your deity's and pastor's name correctly (because we don't need to fear Satin and worshiping Chris the Lord just sounds silly).
8. Thou shalt write legibly.
9. Thou shalt not write your church news as stream of consciousness.
10. Thou shalt be nice to those who handle church news.
11. Thou shalt buy and read the paper before calling to complain.
12. Thou shalt not wage church wars in the paper unless holy robots are involved.
13. THOU SHALT NOT WRITE IN ALL CAPS.
14. Thou shalt not abb. books of the Bible (esp. Mk. and Ats.).
15. Thou shalt not use Internet slang, lol.
16. Thou shalt submit only one church news (not including special events) per week.
17. Thou shalt not write poetry in your church news.
18. Thou shalt not discuss politics in the church news.
19. Thou shalt not discuss sex or bodily urges in the church news.
20. Thou shalt include the church and author's name on your church news.
21. Thou shalt not spell savior with a "u."
22. Thou shalt not write in dialog form.
23. Thou shalt refer to them as angels, not angles. (And lo, the angle of the Lord came down and said, "Thou art obtuse.")
24. Thou shalt remember that God and the Holy Spirit are not in your mist.
QWP. The whole post is rather funny, but it is friends-locked.