Apparently, it is not all fun and fur when owning a rabbit. After bribing him with a new bed, a carrot shaped chew toy, and a wooden structure that looks suspiciously like something Child played with as an infant, Reginald the Rabbit deigned to look at me directly before wandering off.
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2.) Do not willy-nilly pet Reginald. He will sometimes, if you are good and the moon is blue, sit still in your general vicinity long enough to allow you to gently pet his head for a very brief time. He reserves the right, however, to unexpectedly get up and wander off. At a disturbingly fast run. The story of the tortise and the hare now makes some epic sense. Some people might call it *teleportation*.
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5.) Reginald can teleport. No, really. No, seriously.
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7.) My rabbit does not love me. I am reduced to reading up on rabbit psychology and rabbit behavior. On *multiple websites*. I am reduced to reading the psychology of a freaking rabbit. Reginald apparently is showing a lot of behavior associatd with, say, deep and powerful loathing, mixed with pity. I am pitied by my rabbit.
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I have been whipped by a rabbit. Somehow, this seems almost inevitable.
QWP, from this post.