Ge Lishan (gelishan) wrote in metaquotes,
Ge Lishan

"Do you ever worry that the Antichrist foretold in the Apocalypse (Greek for "Revelation") of St. John may already be in our midst?"
"Well, if he was, how would we know?"
"Identifying the Antichrist is no easy task as he has probably taken steps to conceal himself. Little is known about him, not even whether he is an ordinary yet extremely evil human being or a supernatural entity wielding Christ-like powers."
"Wouldn't he possess the opposite of Christ-like powers?"
"Like turning wine into water, giving people leprosy?"
"Yes. Or he may have the same powers, just used for evil. Raising the dead, healing cripples, radioactive fire breath, walking on water, and so forth. If he was just a guy it would be unfair."
"Jesus does not have radioactive fire breath."
"Oh, sorry. I was thinking of Godzilla."
". . ."
"What?! It's an easy mistake to make."
"It is not an easy mistake to make. The points of similarity between Jesus and Godzilla are remarkably few."
"Well, there are a few similarities. The bulky rubber costumes, the reptillian design aesthetic, the tendency to destroy tiny model cities and have slow-paced knock down drag out battles. . ."
"Jesus possesses none of those qualities. You are thinking of kaiju, Japanese for "strange beast," a genre of low budget Japanese giant monster movies, of which Godzilla and Gamera are some of the most popular examples. It is distinct from Jesus in most respects."
"Oh! Right. That's what I was thinking of. Kaiju. What's the deal with Jesus, again?"
"I'm glad you asked! Jesus Christ, which is Greek for "Joshua the Annointed", is the only son of the omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent Lord our God. He was sent to Earth via a virgin birth from the immaculately conceived Virgin Mary in order to spread his father's word and to die by crucifixion at the age of 33, thus redeeming the human race and allowing mankind to be freed from the curse of original sin."
"Ohhhh. Thank you, my friend. Thanks to your testimony, I have seen the light. From this day forward I will dedicate my body mind and soul to my Lord, and he in his mercy will forgive me my many tresspasses. With his sanctifying grace, I will achieve eternal salvation in the Kingdom of Heaven, and Tokyo will not stand a chance. SKREEONK. SKREEONK."

From merrickm, quoted with permission.
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