Damn you, physics! Damn you and your lack of privileged frames of reference!
PS - Don't use that Einstein joke, because it doesn't really make sense from a physics perspective, it just makes me look smart if you don't understand general relativity. If you do, it's not funny. Just a fair warning in case you might end up looking like a jackass by accident . . . if you're prone to wander about making jokes at stray physicists . . . do any of you even know any physicists?