Kristin with an I (silverhill) wrote in metaquotes,
Kristin with an I

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How to spot a goth kid

beagley does a sociological analysis of goth and emo kids.

Yes, I know what you're saying. You're saying, "But the Goths were an East Germanic/Scandinavian tribe who were known for sacrificing their captives to Tyz, their god of war. Dude, they INVADED ROME! (And were horribly defeated)." Yes, that's what I first said too. It is a little known fact, however, that over the past eighteen centuries the Goth tribes migrated to midwestern America and opened a retail chain called "Hot Topic."

Some day they may rise again and INVADE ROME! For now, however, they are a teenage clique. While musical tastes may vary, Goths invariably:
*wear black
*wear black nail-polish (nail polish is for boys, too!)
*are pale (and may wear makeup to make themselves more pale)
*want to have sex with vampires and/or other characters from Anne Rice books
*dye their hair black or some other conveniently spooky color (like fuschia)
*watch "The Crow" at least once a week
*worship Tim Burton (I said that already)
*worship candles and sometimes fairies as long as they are fairies that wear black from Hot Topic
*smoke cloves until their parents find out
*get piercings if their parents let them
*get celtic tattoos if their parents let them (because black celtic crap is FRICKIN' AWESOME)
*whine about their cruel, awful parents who won't let them get tongue/eyebrow piercings or celtic tattoos and then make plans to get the piercings and celtic tattoos anyway and brag to all their friends about how they're going to do it and then hope that all their friends will forget about it because they don't really want to piss of their dad THAT much even though a black celtic arm-band or some kind of cross thing would look FRICKIN' AWESOME

Read the whole entry because it is very funny.
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