Mom: Well, your sorry excuse for a daddy has old dried up sperm, and he couldn't break mommy off good and proper.
Kid: So daddy's not my daddy?
Mom: No sweetie, I had to go to this big building, kind of like a bank, except they take green money and give you white sticky "money" instead.
Kid: ...I'm not buying it, bitch.Where did I really come from?
Mom: Okay you little bastard, some dude who looked kind of cute in the profile but is probably a fucking psychopath thought about something dirty and jerked off in this plastic cup. The doctor took a turkey baster, jammed it up my pussy, and 9 months later, you were born! Miraculous, ain't it?
~ starian2006, here, in childfree.