t3hlorax (t3hlorax) wrote in metaquotes,

The Tale of Sir bluetoad (aka Carl) the Valiant, as told here:

AS our story unfolds, our hero parks his car, on a quest for office supplies. Boldly he ventures forth, to do battle with incompetent clerks and stalk the elusive plain copy paper. Alas, before he travels ten feet, a disguised she-demon rises from the abyss.
"Halt," Cries she! "You are parked in a handycapped spot. You cannot commit such a treacherous deed and go unpunished! Move thine silver steed!"
"M'lady," replies our hero. "This is not a handicapped spot. Those are over there."
"My grandson is handicapped," bellows the beast. "I should know full well what a handicapped spot looks like."
"Ma'am, I assure you," reiterates the bold, undaunted knight. "I am parked legally."
"Look you ignorant Jew," bellows the demon, her disguise slipping slightly. "Move your damned car or I'll call the police!"
"Watch it lady," cautions sir Carl the valiant. "That's a pretty offensive statement."
"Anti-Semite, eh?" snarled the psychotic monster. "You and Hitler will get right along when you go to hell for making handicapped kids park all the way away from the store!"
"Excuse me?"
"MOVE YOUR CAR OR I'M CALLING THE COPS!" roars the she beast.
At this time, the valiant knight mounts his mighty charger and moves 1 spot to the right. The she demon abated, he moves forward to his task, entering the dark cave of Staples.
Old ladies are freaking strange.

just...there are no words. I tried to find a specific portion to post but it's all so good. QWP.
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