Sweetheart, I know how much you love having canned food in the morning, but you need to move your gigantic melon away from the bowl if you want me to feed you. If you keep your head over the bowl, your just going to end up hungry with an ear full of tuna. Also, I am not willing to risk life and limb to clean your ear out, so that would mean a visit to your arch-enemy, "The Vet". I could really do without having him give me odd looks as he cleans fossilized fish out of your ears.
The worker of can openers.