Lady: I saw you with another woman, my dear. Are you having an affair?
Man: My dearest love, however did you come to that conclusion?
Lady: I saw you nibbling her crumpets, and I don't mean the food.
Man: You eyes did not decieve you; indeed I am having an affair.
Lady: I suggest escorting yourself from Langsterbury Manor immediately before I call the constables.
Man: I shall as soon as I finish my supper, love.
In favor of this:
Lady: You @%$@#%@%@#!%@ GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT!!!! *throws plate*
A great deal more exciting, eh?