maypirate: "Talked to an anxiety specialist today. She said "You have classic OCD," and gave me assignments, like not asking my dad if his food is safe, and wearing the hat that I think is evil to prove it isn't. We'll see, hat. We'll see."
And in the comments, an anonymous user replies with:
"Well, now, if this is the hat that was forged from the elbow callouses of a convicted felon by a blind madman in the dark cellar of a Czechoslovakian insane asylum then I wouldn't be so sure. If nothing else, those huge spiraling horns are a dead giveaway. Also, it's dry-clean only, which is way sketchy."