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Turning a Cock into a Phoenix.
i_am_stillwater wrote in metaquotes

miyachan's friend Kalen sent her a translation of a chinese zine's question and answer column.

A man used gasoline as a lubricant while masturbating. After jacking off for awhile, he finds that his organ starts to hurt. He goes online and posts in the Q&A forum about it, asking what he can do. The answers range from:

"Use tea. Tea removes oil. Maybe you should try using tea."

"You're going to die."

"Use diesel to counteract the gasoline."

"Ask your Mom for help?"

"Just keep rubbing, maybe you'll manage a phoenix fire technique like in kung-fu movies..."

Full post can be found here.

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While #5 is the funniest, the third one is my hero, for continuing to try to clean the gene pool.

I still wonder why the guy has gasoline on hand, pardon the pun, for lubricant.

Had some out in the garage in case the car was low or for a lawnmower?

See, if you're gonna jack off in your bedroom, and you wanted to do it now now now... you're not going to put some extra gasoline in the garage.

You'd get some kind of container and leave it in the bedroom...

My question is... why the hell is he stocking flammable jerkoff juice in his bedroom. And why doesn't he put the open container of gasoline near the faulty electric socket beside his bed, where he used to stick his anal vibrator in?

OT, but I absolutely love your icon. *agrees muchly*

Your icon. GENIUS. *loves* May I yoink?

Credit missanthropy and it should be fine.

She hasn't yelled at me yet, anyway.

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actually, I hope not.

I'm kinda curious to see if someone will actually master the "Cock Burning, Phoenix Rising" technique of the Kung-Fu world.

On the bright side, this is one person who's stupidity may actually hinder his ability to reproduce.

Ha...I was thinking the exact same thing.

And I love your icon. But...where are the Marines?

I dunno, sharpening thier pointy sticks?

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The lesson here? Never ask for help.

I thought the better lesson would have been to get laid.

So you wouldnt have to waste gasoline on your penis.

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There's petroleum Jelly, and there's gasoline.

Different levels of distillation at the natural gas plants.

As for why you're asking, take a good, hard look into your pan... er... soul, and I'm certain you'll know.

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Damnit, I should really learn how to do the coding for striking out words, that way people can actually UNDERSTAND my jokes.


No wonder I get metaquoted out of pity.

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The little Carrot thing?!
The only thing directly above my period and comma is the letter L.

is this it?

oh so it's shift+comma, the word strike, shift+period, words to be struck out, shift+comma, backslash, the word strike, shift+period.

bloody hell.

At least I don't have to think about it anymore don't have to wonder what the hell the carrot thing is about.

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