What I really wanted to say was something along the lines of "Fine, bitch, I'll let you eat the blood-soaked strawberries (gives it that extra fucking TANG) and when little worms are writhing through your instestines and crawling through your bloodstream up into your brain (might be fucking hard to locate, though) because you developed fucking trichinosis, don't come fucking crying to me, you pork-slut!" But I didn't. :)
I laughed at this until I cried. And then I sent it to evening_muse who laughed so hard that she blew snot bubbles on her keyboard. Maybe it was way too late when we were reading this.