Calico Eyes (ex_calicoey) wrote in metaquotes,
Calico Eyes
ex_calicoey
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One person's "normal" is another person's "WTF???????"

btyrhrtout in medicalfield describes a bizarre phone conversation with a patient regarding questionable urinalysis results:

Patient: Well, see, I called for the results of my urinalysis and your office says it wasn't a clean-catch. I've been thinking about this, and was wondering if it would be possible for an alligator to contaminate the specimen.

MA: What do you mean?

Patient: See, I've been babysitting this 5 and a half foot alligator for awhile now. It likes to come in the tub with me, and the night I collected my urine, the alligator was in the bath with me.

MA: So what you're saying is you bathe with an alligator?

Patient: Yeah. And come to think of it, that night he pooped in the tub. So I wanted to know if maybe that's why my urine didn't come back right.

MA: Because you were in the bath with an alligator?

Patient: Who pooped in the tub.

MA: Who pooped in the tub.

Patient: Right.

MA: [silence]

Patient: I was just wondering if you knew off the top of your head. I understand if you have to ask the doctor. Can you check with him and give me a call back?

Well, as you can imagine, she ended up having to repeat her urinalysis in an alligator-free environment.


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