In the comments to this post regarding breast self-exams...
charliexbrown: I had a gummi bear in my bra once and thought it was a lump on my boob, so I was really scared of taking it off and looking... the gummi bear was tasty though. And warm. Why can't cancer be like that?
seiberwing: Of course cancer is chewy and fruit-flavored. That's why really why doctors want to take it out.
charliexbrown: The bastards! We must storm the clinics and TAKE BACK THE CANCER!!
I'm so going to hell for laughing at that one, aren't I?