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Jesus and commitment
Oogie Boogie
unkyrich wrote in metaquotes
Quoted with permission from a locked journal entry of clarrisa

Today I was behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "Jesus Cares About You."

I'm a little pissed off. Last time I heard, Jesus LOVED me. Now he "cares" about me. Next thing, he'll want to see other people...and then he'll just want to be "friends". I fucking see where this is going. Bastard.

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*snicker* Jesus did have that thing going on with his twelve apostles posse. Maybe he's for "open relationships"

Of course he doesn't love you.
What would Judas do?

bwaahahaha! Nice one.

I am now armed for next time

What really kills me is when Jesus calls back drunk a year later and just wants to have sex.

Well, the Catholics imbibe His bodily fluids on a regular basis...

And they do so on their knees, after all. I think I see the secret true nature of the catholic church now.

....MAN, that was the worst-kept secret ever.

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Yeah man, considering all the overtones, you'd think the Catholics credited Anne Rice with writing the bible. Maybe that's why she's all pen-for-Jesus nowadays.

And they do so on their knees, after all.

Technically not anymore, unless you go to an Old Rite Mass. Shhhh, though, we're still trying to attract people with the promise of booze and inappropriate sounding things. Like hymns that repeat the word Come over and over again.

Why no, I certainly do not giggle in church ever.

But I can't tell you how many times I've gotten that comment. Especially when I wear my "Everyone loves a Catholic girl" shirt. Serves me right for buying it, I guess.

when I was little and my mom took me to church I once asked why Jesus was made of hosts...

"You're a butcher! So... BUTCH!"

::falls off chair laughing::

Eeeheeheehee! Sacrilicious!

*guffaw* That's so beyond fabulous.

okay, i'm a christian and i'm terribly amused. ;D

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