The Ronin Esper (cmzero) wrote in metaquotes,
The Ronin Esper

  • Mood:

The internet is for porn!

Right here, right now, in this very community, riumplus theorizes on what robot sex is like:

Well, it starts off with a simple handshake, and after lots of repeat communications back and forth and exchanges of packages, things get under way. The male robot puts a Trojan on his hard drive... The female robot then exclaims wow, what a long password you have. After that, depending on preferences communicated through executed commands, he either makes a full-frontal DoS attack or probes around the back-door entry. The sparks start flying as the circuit boards grind together, both robots banging on each other's keyboards with increasing speed. Sometimes, one or both parties yell 0! 0! 0! with the occasional 1! in the middle to break up the repetition. Finally, both robots reach their peak, they have their bits flipped, buffers overflow, speakers bleep, memory is dumped, whatever other euphemism you wish to use for the 'completion of packet exchanges'.

Both computers, rather hot from the workout, often power down as they're too tired to do much more until they've had time to cool down/have their batteries recharged.

There exist various medical tools on the market to help prevent this and make the experience more enjoyable for both parties (a fat bandwidth network adapter, extra cooling fans to reduce the cool down time, rootkits to help gain access easier, etc...), but the use of such items, like the whole act, is dependant entirely upon personal taste of the two robots involved.

If the Trojan step is skipped or if something snuck in through a weak security flaw, 9 months later, the female proclaims she's given birth to digital life in the form of a new AI algorithm. Then come the initial excitement and the press release/parties telling all the friends. Hopefully it ends up becoming a mature program in a few years and many revisions, instead of quietly dying due to being a flawed concept.


I can't believe I just wrote that

(But we're all glad you did!)
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded