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The things you learn at the ljdq
agent may is unimpressed
trishalynn wrote in metaquotes
In response to this question:

4. What breed of cattle comes in Red and Black varieties?

...someone went off on a squicky tangent:

"I once temped for the Virginia Angus Association. There I learned the following: Bulls are never put with cows, since (a) they tend to like the rough stuff, which is hard on the cows, and (b) that's a waste of good semen. So what they do, is bring the bull into a place with a steer (a castrated bull), which is apparently enough to excite the bull, and when he goes to mount the steer, they break it up, and some brave soul hops under and, ahem, applies some sort of collecting apparatus to the bull. Said collection is then divided up into doses, called "straws," and sold all over the country for farmers to artificially inseminate their cows. Which is generally done by wearing a looooong glove." - barbarienne

Read the rest of the answers here


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I think I need to go have a lie-down.

I read that first line as the Virginia Anus Association.

Oh, well. At least the first word didn't morph, because that would have just been beyond the pale for today.

*sputters, trying to keep her coffee in her mouth, just BARELY succeeding*

...so much TMI in so few words...

Yes. Yes, I went there.

4. What breed of cattle comes in Red and Black varieties?

I would have thought ANY of them would, given the chance.

Re: Yes. Yes, I went there.

Cows are not only not homophobic, they're not into racism either.

I want a tee shirt. On it will be a picture of two bulls. The second bull will say, "I'm gay. Gay for you." The caption will read, "Got semen?" -- American Dairy Association.

I am a sick, sick puppy. But then I do not inseminate cows, so, I mean, there are levels . . .

It needs one of the bulls with that white mustache across his upper lip. *nods*


(Deleted comment)
actually, they don't usually use steers to excite the bulls, the just let the bull see the cows, and place 'dummy' in the pen, so the bull can mount the 'dummy'.

my gf won a 'straw' as a gag gift at her family reunion one year.

no, i have never inseminated a cow.

There's a program on Showtime called, "Dirty Jobs" and one of them was a bull semen collector.

He has to rig up an artificial vagina, and then tease the bull into mounting something, then get the semen without grabbing the bull's penis, because they can't ejaculate when you do that. Now, there's a job. Getting a ton of horny male to come at you with his 2 foot long penis.

Oh, and if they can't get the bull to mount, they have to use the long glove to stimulate him rectally until he ejaculates.

They use a male steer to tease the bull because females are too valuable as breeders. Because bulls often mount other males and cows mount other cows all the time. Homophobia is strictly a human thing, the cows aren't buying into it at all. Sheep are quite gay too. Rams are always ramming other rams.

Apparently, another things that gets bulls all hot and bothered is watching two females mount each other. (I live in cow land, Wyoming. Wyoming, where people could learn a thing or two from their cows and sheep.)



"Apparently, another things that gets bulls all hot and bothered is watching two females mount each other."

Bulls apparently enjoy hot lesbian action just as much as human guys do, then...

Thanks for the flashback to 4-H.

...

And now, at long last, I see what I've missed by being a life-long city girl.

o_O

And they say New York is crazy...

Huh, that so. We leave the bull in with the cows, only separate out the heifers to keep them from being bred too young.

Then again we don't use artificial insemination.

My experience is only with horses...
What's fun is sitting at the airport cargo delivery waiting on the semen to come (*insert childish giggling here*). I was sitting there all patiently, so the people struck up conversation. If I hadn't told them what I was waiting for, they would have asked what it was once it arrived. Nothing better than random conversations about the sperm your picking up at the airport.

Oh... then there is the time that my mom was shipping back the semen container (they get expensive) and the shipping guy needed to know exactly what it was, and opened it up to find that the vet had left the empty semen bag there, and some girl exclaimed "It's a horse condom!"

Gah, flashbacks of my Animal Science class from freshman year... if you want to really break your brain, ask me what a sidewinder is.

...all right, I'll do it, what's a sidewinder.

Which leads me to ask how many people besides me have read My Uncle Oswald.

Me! First thing I thought of.

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