I Can Kill You With My Brain (telaryn) wrote in metaquotes,
I Can Kill You With My Brain
telaryn
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More jewels from crevette...

The always quotable crevette responds to a customer's voicemail asserting that "you need to call me back. It's what Jesus would do. Jesus would call me back."

Girlfriend, discounting the fact that there WERE NO PHONES when Jesus was alive... Not even considering what his voicemail would say.. "Hey... this is J.C. I can't answer the phone because I'm out raising the dead right now. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you. If you're a leper and your nose or fingers have dropped off, you can page me at... Not even trying to consider if his cellular plan would give him good coverage while he was being tempted out in the wilderness...

Simply put, Jesus would NOT call your whiney ass back, bitch. He'd be checking his phone every time it rang, see your number, roll his eyes and switch off his phone. You'd be stuck leaving voicemails for eternity. And when I say eternity, I mean eternity.

And if you give me enough time, I can find biblical verse to support that point of view.
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