And how can you "force" two characters into a non-cannonical [sic] homosexual relationship?
Does it go something like:
Author: "Okay, Legolas! Get your ass over here! So that Aragorn can put his peepee in it!"
Legolas: "No, Ms. Authors! Please! Anything but that!"
Author: "I SAID GET OVER HERE AND GET GAY, NOW! BITCH!"