And The Clocks Were Striking Thirteen (_redpanda_) wrote in metaquotes,
And The Clocks Were Striking Thirteen

Allah be praised! Our infidel enemies are stupider than we thought! Read this news story.

"Experts say an estimated 750,000 U.S. adolescents suffer from depression and 500,000 attempt suicide every year. About 1,700 succeed."

500,000 of them attempt suicide, and only 1,700 succeed???? What the hell are they doing ?

"Well, I tried to kill myself by draping a sock across my shoulder. That didn't work. I'm now going to try to kill myself by putting my foot in a bag of sugar."

Just how difficult is it to commit suicide, I mean, honestly? Every year hundreds of our suicide bombers attempt suicide, and they all succeed. Well, except for my Uncle Yousouff, who misread the instructions and tried to become a suicide bummer, but We Don't Talk About Him.

It's the easiest thing in the world! Strap the explosives to your chest. Walk up to a US Army checkpoint in Baghdad. Touch the wires together. Straight to Allah, no problem.

If the infidel US teenagers really are this stupid, we'll have no problem winning this war.

-- spiritof1976 on al_qaeda *giggle*

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