Ryuu (karma_aster) wrote in metaquotes,

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felisdemens shares more of the joys of pet-ownership:


"Augh! Whafuck? Ow! Whyyyyy are you standing on me?

Get up!

Ow, dammit, your little feet are pointy. Siddown or go `way. I'm sleeping.

I said get up!

Aagh. Get off me. I don't care what you want, you geriatric hairbag. And your purring is insincere.

Don't make me escalate.


Okay, you brought this on yourself.

YOW! You bit me! You're still biting me! WHAT? What do you WANT? Is Timmy in the fucking WELL? I'm awake, you can stop gnawing on my hand now. Ohhh... right. I bet your food tower is empty.

My food tower is empty.

Don't you mean "our" food tower?

Fuck those two losers. They're lying around in the living room starving to death while I'm in here doing all the work.

Okay, okay, I'm getting up. I hope you appreciate this. I think I'm still drunk. Whoa - yep, still drunk.

Get it together, I'm too old to be this hungry.

Christ, quit yowling, you'll wake everyone else up. There, all the kibble you could ever want. I'm going back to bed.

Let those fang marks be a lesson to you - don't let this happen again.

Yes, massa. If you weren't so damn old and stringy I'd have sold you to a Chinese restaurant years ago.

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