maybe that's why so many people i meet seem like scary genetic mutants. too much day glo orange cheese and zinc bisodium triglycerides and high fructose corn syrup and all of a sudden one day *BAM* they were unsalvageable. their DNA bonded with the cheez molecules and they became a new species.
if i ever get deformed in an industrial accident i'm going to go to the grocery store and fill my cart with the scariest foods i can find. bologna and american cheese and cool whip, oh my! i won't purchase them because they are unfit for human consumption, but i WILL go around the store and recommend them to everyone, and proudly declare that they "made me what i am today."
I thoroughly enjoyed the entire post. Check it out.