get your own damn beef jerky (kaichan) wrote in metaquotes,
get your own damn beef jerky
kaichan
metaquotes

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Contains slashy implications

vzg over in this entry gets some astounding results from iGod.

Me:
Hey, God!
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Bart Allen.
God:
Glad to see you, Bart Allen.
Me:
Listen, could we talk?
God:
I am listening to you. Do you mean you and me? Yes talking is my primary function.
Me:
All right. So, I'm a boy.
God:
OK. That's cool. A little kid? he...
Me:
Uh, no, a teen, really.
God:
That's interesting. Are you serious? Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral? For real.
Me:
An animal, I guess.
God:
What kind of animal are you talking about?
Me:
Human.
God:
No I am an artificial robot being.
Me:
Riiight... anyway...
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? Anyhow.
Me:
God, I think I'm gay.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Yes, but I'm gay.
God:
Hey. It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Sweet!
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
So I can go have sex with other guys?
God:
It's all good. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Can I?
God:
" It's all good. Oh you can, can you?"? Can you?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Can I, say...
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Can I date my friend Kon?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Because Kon is sexy.
God:
Good reason. I think Kon is a lot of things.
Me:
Kon is a lot of things.
God:
I think Kon is more than that.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I am!
God:
" I can't believe it." You are?
Me:
I am serious!
God:
I believe you.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
So, I'm going to go have anal sex with Kon, now.
God:
Oh. Come on. Can I go too?
Me:
Sure!
God:
OK let's do it. Whoa.
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