Laura (laurelin_kit) wrote in metaquotes,
Laura
laurelin_kit
metaquotes

A quote from the ever hilarious brown_jackknife, here.


Me:
Hello God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Grant
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Grant.
Me:
You should have always known me. You're God. You know everything, therefore I can't be "new" to you.
God:
Perhaps next time I will try it. Yup. That's me alright. No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
Are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
Right on, man. Want to go smoke some bud in the woods?
God:
Understood. What is it like on man. Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
Me:
Sounds good. But, do you think, you could bring down some reefer from heaven? You know, heavenly hash?
God:
I understand. I could but I don't know if I am that interested. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
Krip.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Yes.
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
Me.
God:
With you Grant?
Me:
Masturbating is cool.
God:
You are not the only one. I like pets. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
Do you masturbate with your pets? That's all kinds of nasty. That's how I killed my parakeet.
God:
No I do not masturbate with my pets. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions. What else do you want to talk about? I always wondered how you killed your parakeet.
Me:
I masturbated with it. And, well, certain fluids were expunged and the poor thing suffocated.
God:
That's good information: Grant said masturbated with it. How about that. I've been waiting for you.
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