Silmaril (silmaril) wrote in metaquotes,

My commenters make the funny

I asked "Why does my tea get cold so quickly today?" And they answered. All are hilarious; a selection is behind the cut.

theweaselking: Because God hates you. No, really. Fred Phelps, HIS tea stays hot for HOURS.
This got two replies:
lederhosen: Hopefully, in his lap.prince_corwin: Actually, someone is siphoning off all thermal content of hundreds-- no, thousands-- of cups of tea and putting it all in Phelps' cup, just so he can burn his tongue so severely that it will have to be amputated.
Now quitcher bitchin'. It's for a good cause.

prophetkristy: Because it takes a day and a half for a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of an old dill pickle. *nods firmly*

active_apathy:... Answer four: The Ministry for Warm Tea regrets to advise that, due to budget cuts, their tea will henceforth be downgraded from 'warm' to 'tepid', except in emergency cases. Also note that these budget constraints mean that freshly made tea will have its heat redistributed to maintain temperatures at 'tepid' rather than 'freezing'.
Short version: Thermal downsizing.
Read 'em all.

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