txtfiles' father cut his foot:
I looked down at the foot he proferred, expecting to see nothing more than a larger band-aid, but instead was met with the sight of an Always maxi with wings wrapped around his instep, held in place by Johnson & Johnson's first-aid tape. YES. MY FATHER TAPED FEMININE HYGIENE PRODUCTS TO HIS FOOT TO STAUNCH THE BLEEDING. I am currently auctioning off 6-hour chunks of time in which I will allow you to pretend like my awesome dad is your awesome dad, although it's hard to put a price on the priceless.
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Meanwhile, barbarian_qulan 'splains something to people worried about falling birth rates:
We don't want to have the same fertility rate as the 1800s, dumbasses. People produced offspring like bunnies then because half the kids didn't even make it to puberty. We do not have a Planet of Infinite Holding.