Most parents would say something like “Son, and/or daughter, I have done many things in my life, but the thing I am proudest of is YOU.” And then everybody hugs.
Not me. I’m going to tell it like it is.
“Kid, you’re ok and all, but this one time I poured a big ass bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and instead of milk, I used Cream Soda, then I poured exactly one metric assload of sugar on that and ate it like a vagina connoisseur at an open legs convention. THAT was the best thing I ever did. Now spend the rest of your life trying to live up to that.”
Full post has teh funney.