I found out yesterday, that there are no restrictions on our Halloween costumes at work, except that they can't be "too revealing." Yeah, like I want to show off this body, you know? And the shirt that I'm wearing is so unrevealing, because it's huge on me. Which is actually good, because I don't recall a lot of pirates with 38C's bouncing around on deck, at least not in the movies I've seen. I've considered even getting an ace bandage and "Tightening down the hatches" so-to-speak, so that the "day's stubble" won't look too weird.
"Look, Mommy, our server is a crossdressing Pirate!"
"Jr, it's not polite to po-- holy god, you're right! A transvesite pirate! Augh! RUN FOR COVER!"