Lib (libram) wrote in metaquotes,

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My brother once again...

itburnsitburns, in another flocked post (I dunno why he locks them, honestly). Posted in it's entirety, for full amusement and enjoyment of all:

"You left the toilet seat up again" - well known but hardly discussed, irreconcilable nagging fodder of an estrogenous origin. Now what's the big difficulty in understanding this shit? Sure men are lazy and don't bother putting the ass-seat down after a nice piss, but women are just as lazy in not wanting to put the damn seat down themselves before their urethrally challenged selves wanna take a piss as well. I'm sorry if you sprinkle when you tinkle if ejecting while erect, but if anyone wants to take a piss it's their responsibility to prepare the seat beforehand. It shouldn't be an obligation to take care of other people's future pissing conditions. You don't hear men complaining that you left the seat down, though we don't really need it to be up in the first place. Yeah yeah, some guys are unfortunate aimers, but aside from that population of men with inaccurate shlongs, us penis-wielders generally have decent aim, having practiced all our lives.

Some situations of toilet seat positional disregard actually swell with strategic quality. Think about this. If a guy is at home and it's the dead of summer, he'd obviously be drinking alot of fluids. That means he'll be pissing alot - so wouldn't it be more efficient to leave that toilet seat up so one can just run to the porcelain throne and unzip right away? It's called "planned pissing", and it's ingenious, though you concave crotched people would understand such concrete operations according to that old university board member who pissed off all those funny ladies at some pointless meeting of old racist white people. I just think it's due to lack of dicksperience. You just don't have long urethras like us men. In the end, what it all comes down to is stop complaining about men leaving the toilet seat up after they piss because you're being just as lazy about not wanting to just flick that ass-rest with a "donk" into it's rightful situation for feminine urination.

People don't put toilet paper on the seats of public bathrooms for each successive filthy ass that parks its fat and somehow hair/urine ridden meatslab self on that sterile yet unsightly vile cesspool of unsightly discharges meant only to cause partial in-the-mouth vomit and germ phobias, so the same argument should apply to the step directly following the shit-or-piss procedure, which is leaving the fucking toilet after flushing. Seriously, you don't hear guys complaining "you keep leaving the goddamn toilet seat down and I have to aim more precisely or lift the seat back up", so just hold your pride, supress the laziness and put down the toilet seat. Putting it down is easier than lifting it back up anyway, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it while pissing and reading Entertainment Weekly, which has been sitting there on the hamper for 6 months and I'm totally sick of seeing that cover page about Brad and Jennifer splitting up - it's so last spring, so will you just throw it out already?
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