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Grammar Police
corinn wrote in metaquotes
melfra champions the cause for those of you who are driven to near-insanity by the poor grammar of those on the Net in this friendslocked post. Quoted with permission (via AIM).

"So a few days ago, I saw a meme on the journal of [name removed]. It was the *gasp* infamous "what sexual things do you're friends think about you?" meme! I ranted. And ranted. And had a little fun.

"Leave it to a sex meme to be written by a completely illiterate assmuncher. It's "your", not "you're"! "Your" is "you" in a possessive form. "You're" is "you are" in an abbreviated form. And it's DAYDREAM. Not DAY DREAM. Gah, I hate people who don't know their basic fifth-grade grammar. It pisses me right the hell off. *grumbles*

"With the grammar in that thing, I'm surprised they didn't mistake "wants" for "want's." DAMN, I hate illiteracy. This is just me ranting, hi. My name is ranting. I'm ranting about GRAMMAR! Can you say "your"? Good! Your is the possessive form of you! Now, how do we tell "your" and "you're" apart? Why, it's simple! First, let's look at the dictionary definition. Hmm, it says an apostrophe is the ommission of a letter! So that means when there's an apostrophe, fill in the blanks! Thinking like this, "you're" becomes "you are"! Isn't that incredible? To sum things up, the proper title of this meme is "what sexual things do you are friends think about you?" Wow! Let's ignore the total lack of capitalization there and sum it all up for you, Molly! YOU ARE AN ILLITERATE ASS-CAKE! Wow, good for you! Here's a gold star!

"Those of you who can't tell, this 'Molly' was the author of the meme, and a completely illiterate asscake. I'm getting sick and tired of people who can't tell the difference between "you're" and "your". It's really making me sick, and I honestly think English teachers should be spending more time teaching English rather than literature. Another of my pet peeves are the "its" and "it's" mistake, also the "cars" and "car's" one. Time for a little grammar lesson!"

She gives a full impromptu grammar lesson after that. It's lovely. It includes the line, "My theory on this mix up is sheer laziness- one day, a person wanted to write the plural of "donkey." However, this person simply could not remember what to do with a "y"! Instead, they decided to seperate the two parts of the word with an apostrophe. Unknown to said person, this would become a fad..."

Melly's sarcasm makes for constant entertainment.

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I was watching my brother play Vampire The Masquerade - Bloodlines.

One of the characters used "You're" instead of "Your" in exactly the same way.

The resulting yelping howl made my brother ask me what had happened, and if I had been electrocuted. ¬¬

I have gone through old AIM logs, MSN logs, and LJ entries, found that I mistyped and used a "your" in place of a "you're" or vice versa, and then gone back and corrected it, and felt very embarrassed for having made that mistake some three or four months ago.

But really, if the game was designed for the RPers I knew it high school, they probably don't notice. Or worse, think it's correct.

It includes the line, "My theory on this mix up is sheer laziness- one day, a person wanted to write the plural of "donkey." However, this person simply could not remember what to do with a "y"! Instead, they decided to seperate the two parts of the word with an apostrophe. Unknown to said person, this would become a fad..."

But you don't do anything with the 'y.' The plural of 'donkey' is 'donkeys.' Also, 'seperate' should be spelled 'separate.' Maybe this person could also benefit from an additional English class.

Yeah, she meant that the person was confused and couldn't remember the rules about what happens in which situations.

And there is such thing as a typo. No one is perfect.

Not doing anything can also be a bit hard to remember - I've got friends who consistently write "monkies". I think the writer of the rant is referring to people who don't know if it's donkeys or donkies, and thus writes donkey's.

As for separate, well, you're right there, of course.

Isn't there a rule about not being able to make a post correcting someone's grammar and spelling without also making a typo or mistake, yourself?

A corollary of Murphy's Law, shirley? (:

"And don't call me Shirley!"


Airplane love!

Such a great movie. :D

And here I always thought the true meaning of an apostrophe was "Look out! Here comes an S!"

My pet peeve is "loose" and "lose". If you want to "loose" twenty pounds, for the love of Pete, don't set them free near me!

And people who misspell my name. I won a dictionary in school for being champion speller. Beautiful object, with my name and the occasion embossed in gold.

They spelled my name wrong.


(Ah, Princess Tutu. Right up there with Tenshi ni Narumon among my favorite obscure crack-induced animes.)

Crack Crack Crackitty Crack

Yesss. I've seen it summarized as "A Disney-animated version of Swan Lake, as co-directed by David Lynch and Tim Burton."

Ballet-fu is the best martial art EV-AHR.

Thanks for the icon compliment. *blows kisses*

(Deleted comment)

Re: *sings Strong Bad*

And I don't care
how they spell things
on the internet....
When you email ME,
you spell the whole word out!

And I don't care that your cell phone has a camera in it...

Re: *sings Strong Bad*

Yay! I wasn't the only one who immediately thought of that...

That grammar stuff really gets me too... Just this last year, I was sitting in my English class and my teacher asked us the different spelling for 'it' with an 's' added onto it...
The sad thing?
People in my class thought that the word 'its'' was real... *handpalm*
(I was a junior in HS at the time...)

"Its" is a real word. It's the possesive pronoun, you use it if something is belonging to "it".

No, like they says *its'* was a word...

Ooooohhh, with the apostrophe after the "s". Got it.

Love the icon, btw.

"And what do we burn, apart from witches?"

Like punkrawkpyro said, "its" is possesive - "The lake lost its charm after it was filled with raw sewage" or something like that.

See the coment above... they said *its'* was a word...

whatEVVVVV everyone should just start speaking german. We don't have apostrophes. And if they do happen to show up, we ignore them =P

Although I hate to imagine all the poor grammar nazis having heart attacks, what with our comma and s & double s rules...

I'm with you on that one. Mmmm, German.

haha. grammar nazi. german. i <3 you.

Oh, I didn't even notice that. Pun not intended ^^;; if it could be called a pun, that is...

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