J.K. Rowling will indeed write the next two Harry Potter books within the next five years, but sadly, the Great Battle with Voldemort will not occur; instead she will be forced by her publishing house to write a series of books following Harry through Auror training. mon_starling and alicey will be hired to illustrate the new trio of books, but placed under order to make them as ugly as possible, in keeping with the first seven.
Hermione will be permanently transfigured into a casserole, but nobody will notice the difference.
JKR will die with the last book unfinished, and it will be passed to Neil Gaiman to complete. Harry will suddenly develop a personality, a sarcastic wit, and a plotline with no holes in it. eruthros will copyedit it, and the Reign of the Ellipses shall end.
Prophecy and quote from copperbadge.