Siegfried of Siegfried and Roy appeared on Good Morning America today, explaining that the tiger that mauled Roy, his partner, was just trying to help.
"A cat is a tiger," he said, "and when he wants to protect his pal he does it the way a tiger does, with his strength."
Uncomfirmed reports from a Las Vegas ICU indicated that upon hearing this, an identified patient went berzerk, flailing wildly, ripping out several IVs, and incoherently screaming something muffled by ventilation tubes. Though whatever the patient tried to say was garbled, several on-duty nurses believed it was something like: "Are you high? He tried to eat my motherfucking ass!"
The patient was sedated shortly afterward and sank into a twitching, fitful sleep.