And The Clocks Were Striking Thirteen (_redpanda_) wrote in metaquotes,
And The Clocks Were Striking Thirteen

Anyone who's a dog owner knows that one of the games you play with the dog is Keel Over and Die. The human falls on the floor and pretends to die, and it's the dog's job to revive her or him. If the dog gives up, the human wins.

I have never, ever beaten Bonnie at this game.

Her strategy is the following:

1) If Mommy's wearing short sleeves, insert cold, wet beak into Mommy's armpit. Lick if necessary.

2) If Mommy's not wearing shoes, bite her feet.

3) Failing those, wedge beak under Mommy's arm to access face. Insert tongue into Mommy's mouth.

4) If ALL of the above fail, jump on Mommy's back and start digging, hard, until she screams and gets up.

I'd like to think of these as signs that my dog is highly intelligent, rather than, say, a gleeful sadist.

-- littledevi

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