Admission to the Burning Ruins — 10¢ (laughingacademy) wrote in metaquotes,
Admission to the Burning Ruins — 10¢
laughingacademy
metaquotes

"Rant: In Which I Seriously Lose My Sh*t and Piss off a Lot of People in the Process"

Subtitle: Really. No doubt about it. Sh*t in the process of being lost as we speak.

Personally, I think the only people who would be offended by thefourthvine’s latest frothings are (1) people who can’t be bothered to spell and punctuate correctly and (2) people who don’t like fanfic and/or slash. And who cares what they think?

A few choice bits:
"Behold the comma...Isn't it cute? Doesn't it look like something you would like to take home and snuggle all night? Wouldn't you marry that comma if it was single? (It isn't; it and the period are in a long-term relationship. But it's an open one, so the comma is still available for a cheap one-night stand.)

Use both commas and apostrophes correctly or the bad scary punctuation demon will come for you. Would you wear a bra on your head and panties on your feet? Well, OK, I see your point there. Bad example. Because, really, who wouldn't?

See the cock! See the cock bounce! See the cock get down! Dance, cock, dance! By which I mean, OK, yes, I get what you mean when you write about bouncing cocks, or cocks springing free, or cocks just generally displaying their apparent urge to shimmy like my sister Kate. I'm fine with that, good to go with that, happy to read it. But ah my foes and oh my friends, enough is enough...My point is that there's a good-sense limit to the cock-bounce action. Unless your story is called “Cock on a Hot Tin Roof,” in which case, you know what? I love you so much that it doesn’t matter.

See, blue balls is not some agonizing and potentially deadly malady that strikes down all men who do not get immediate sexual gratification. I promise you - emergency room doctors see penile fractures and priapism and the results of unfortunate experiments involving creative sexual encounters with inanimate objects, but "sexual frustration" does not have a recognized diagnostic code, people.

The entire post is here.
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