1) If you're going to pick a fight in a bar, don't do it with the guy with the human skull on his shoulder.
2) If you plan on selling underage boys into sexual slavery in New York, you should ask for more than ten dollars apiece.
3) The more important a character is, the more tragic their backstory.
4) If their backstory is not that tragic but they are still important, their importance will be shown through their having hair that is either very weird, or very big, or both.
5) Just because you blew up the moon doesn't mean you're a bad guy.
6) in times of great stress or unhappiness, it is acceptable to turn into a hamster.
7) Despite the close relationship you share with your best friend, including cutesy nicknames and dedicated loyalty, you will never have sex with each other. This also goes for your worst enemy.
8) The only thing better than a gun is a sword. The only thing better than a sword is a GUNSWORD! A sword that is also a gun, how exciting is that?
9) For every hero/villain set, there is at least one gay crossdresser.
10) Chicks dig scars. For that matter so does your best friend/worst enemy.
11) If a girl is wearing a short skirt (ie above the knee) you will eventually see her panties.
12) Women masturbating with magazines in hotel lobbies may be open to myriad sexual suggestions. (Oh, wait, that's "Things I learned from listening to Prince songs." Never mind.)
13) Yellow vinyl bodysuits look good on everyone.
- thegraybook and friend